Jacquie was another smart one. She and I met in 2004. We had a great time hanging out together. The only problem was that Jacquie was significantly younger  than me.

I knew Jacquie as J.J.W.

Those were her initials.

J.J.W. with the house cat named “Cow”

 

Toward the end of our relationship, J.J.W. was coming into herself. She took the two pictures above to post online. I wasn’t a big internet user at the time. So I don’t remember the exact reason she took these pictures. She looks absolutely beautiful in them.

The reason Jacquie and I got along so well was because I ended up falling in love with myself. I know what you are asking yourself. How can you fall in love with yourself?  We loved doing the same things together. Or more precisely, we would do all the things I enjoyed. Jacquie had presented herself as a Pete Padilla clone. How could I NOT enjoy hanging out with her? Thus, in my mind, I had the perfect girlfriend. Or so I thought.

As it turned out, Jacquie was smart enough to figure out what I liked to do. What types of books I enjoyed. The music I listened to. The fact that I didn’t like to drive etc. So it was a real shock when I realized that she had merely pretended to like the same things as I did.

Soon after we started to have relationship troubles, we broke up. And shortly thereafter, she became interested in an acquaintance of mine.

While we were at the tail end of our breakup, she and I traveled to NYC together. But on the trip, she and I were already in the transition phase. For a short time, we would still hang out here and there while she played the field. However, while we were in NYC, she already had her eye on that guy.

While we were in NYC, we went to BORDERS book store. She purchased a couple of books that caught my attention. One was NASCAR For Beginners. The other was COUNTRY MUSIC FOR BEGINNERS. That’s when it hit me! I figured out that she purchased these books so that she could start acting like she was a NASCAR and a country music fan. She was once again becoming a clone of the guy she was starting to date.

I have to admit: I did learn a lot about life while dating J.J.W.  At the time we were an item, I was thinking about writing a book on relationships. I had become very knowledgeable about them and had delivered some lectures about how they worked. These class topics were very popular. Thus, I wanted to put that stuff from class in writing. But I hadn’t been through a breakup for a over a decade. And I didn’t know anyone who went through one and provided me with the details of their day-to-day struggle.

A few months before our breakup, I prayed for God to help me learn more about breakups. After all, I had a book to write.  When someone said that God works in mysterious ways, boy did they hit the nail on the head. Before I knew it, I was front and center to a breakup: my own.

That was okay. I started a journal so that I could learn about how they emerged and developed. I kept track of everything about the process. In the end, I was able to write a fantastic book section on how breakups work. In the long run, I suffered terrible emotional pain. But in the end, I was able to understand the breakup process in detail. I got what I prayed for! 

When we split up, J.J.W.  made an interesting comment. She said that I was so weird that no one would ever be able to fall in love with me. I was stunned by this comment. It stuck in my head for some time.

Sometimes I think J.J.W. was prophetic. I am captain quirk. I’m not for everybody. I am a loner and have only a handful of friends. So I live alone (last Girlfriend died during Covid). I am selfish. I watch what I want on TV. I listen to “my” station on the radio. I go where I want; when I want.

People think being selfish is synonymous with being stingy. Not so. I’m not stingy. I’ve helped numerous friends when they were in need.  But when I share space with any sort of roommate, I do have to change some of  my unconventional habits.

One time I burned a CD to listen to in my car. The music on it was all over the map. I love music, so I listen to music from all over the spectrum. I listen to music by the mood I’m in.

Anyway, I burned a list of songs from a number of genres. The types of music on that CD didn’t “match.” There were songs from my childhood. There were oldies. There were high school songs. But I don’t drive much, so that CD would be in my car player for a few months until I got tired of listening to those specific songs.

One of my girlfriend’s cousins borrowed the CD for a road trip. It was so unconventional that when she brought it back, she had to let me know how weird it was.

So perhaps J.J.W. had a point. She was very observant. She was also an independent thinker. Plus, she had a sense of curiosity and wasn’t afraid to try things out. All of these factors made her dangerous. I could go on about how she was allowed to take graduate classes as a senior. But I think you already get the point.

After J.J.W. and I called it off for good, I met a couple of women who fell in love with me precisely because I was “different.” They all commented that they enjoyed hanging out with me.

J.J.W. is the only ex-girlfriend that I am NOT still friends with. With the others, I still know what is happening in their lives. I didn’t have that many girlfriends in my lifetime, but I had them for long periods of time. Five years was my average relationship.

I will admit that I am “different,” but that doesn’t mean that no women would ever be able to fall in love with me. But then again I’m not getting any younger. Let’s just say that the jury is still out on J.J.W.’s presumption. My life’s weird trajectory may prove her right.

I don’t think about J.J.W. much these days, but I do wish her the best. I really do. I just don’t want anything to do with her.

 

 *****

pete padilla

petepadilla.com